Dreams Don't Mean A Thing
by Brownish
Summary: Zuko discusses his dreams with his therapist.


"What do you think? Did it mean anything?"

_Do you think it meant anything?_

"Well, It was just a dream. But—"

_Go on._

"It was so _real_. I didn't know whether – when I woke up, for a moment I thought it _was_ real."

_That's normal, after such a vivid dream_.

"Is it? But I – never mind."

_Is there something more?_

"When I woke up – I wanted it to be real. And I don't – can you tell me what it meant?"

_What did it mean to you?_

"That's stupid. You're the doctor, why do I have to do all the thinking?"

My job is to help you, Zuko. It doesn't matter what I say to you, only what you understand and believe.

"I don't know how to analyse dreams."

But you do know how to analyse yourself; a bit too well, even. Why don't you start with the similarities between the dream and your life, rather than the differences.

"I…that makes sense. I had a scar in the dream – but it wasn't from the fire. Dad gave it to me – well, not Dad, but Dad from the dream. He could control fire – well, I could as well, and Zula, lots of people. Do you think…maybe I wanted to control fire. If I could control fire, I could have saved mom…yeah."

_Go on_.

"Well, Azula was in the dream. And she was really good at everything, just like she is here – in real life. But in the dream, she was…well, she was basically evil. I guess I, um, wanted her to not be perfect for once. I mean, not that I don't like her being so smart, but—"

_Everyone has negative emotions, Zuko, even towards those they love. The important thing is to understand and control them_.

"…Maybe. Anyway. Uncle was there as well, and he was just as weird and cryptic. Lu Ten was dead, but it wasn't like it really was – he'd been killed in a battle. Is that some way of making it better? Making it more glorious than, than a mugging?"

_Do you think dying in battle is any better?_

"I guess so. Maybe not. I – the me in the dream probably wouldn't think so."

_How were you different, in the dream?_

"I was…I hurt people. People I didn't know, Uncle…that kid from my kung fu class, Aang, he was in there for some reason. I spent a lot of time chasing him, some stupid quest that Dad set me. I reckon that means better grades, Dad's always yelling at me about them."

It could represent more than one thing.

"Yeah. But, I changed, in the dream. Changed sides, stood up to Dad, became Fire Lord – I was a prince. Beat Azula at something."

_It sounds like you did everything you want to do, but can't_.

"Exactly, like – wish fulfillment. But there were times I was so alone, so angry – if I was dreaming what I wanted, why would I make me go through so much sh…stuff, before I made it work?"

Perhaps it was a form punishment. You couldn't be worthy of happiness until you had suffered.

"You think I'm still blaming myself for the fire?"

I don't know. I'm not a mind reader, Zuko. But the subconscious can take longer to accept things than the waking mind.

"Actually – this is the weird part. During the dream, there was a bit when I wasn't sure what side I should be on. And I had weird fever-dreams, inside the dream."

_Interesting. What kind of dreams?_

"Oh, Azula as a dragon, all kinds of stuff. But – I needed that time, to make a decision. Maybe that's the dream version of you?"

I would certainly be something otherworldly.

"Exactly. Not that that's a bad thing. I reckon I was, like, working through the fact that I needed to work through stuff, you know? Dealing with the fact that I'm maybe not over it yet."

Mental wounds are more difficult to heal. The hardest part is admitting that there's something wrong.

"Maybe I've been dodging around the, the fire."

Perhaps.

"It wasn't my fault."

_I know you understand that. But do you believe it?_

"I do my best. But there's always that question, if I had woken up earlier…I might have saved mom."

There's no value in torturing yourself, Zuko.

"No, there's not. Is that what you think the dream was, me punishing myself?"

_That was part of it. Tell me, how did the dream end?_

"I was happy. I had friends, I…er, married Mai. I haven't even asked her out yet, in the real world."

Sounds like you gave yourself some good advice.

"You think I was trying to set myself up? In a dream?"

Sometimes the mind works through things as you sleep.

"So it was a good dream."

It was a dream. You should certainly try to understand it, but I wouldn't think about it too much.

"…Right."

Our time is up, Zuko. I think this has been a good session.

"So do I."

Good. I'll see you next week. Take care, and don't worry too much about dreams.

"Sure thing, doc."

Zuko walked out of the office, no longer worried about his exceptionally vivid dream. And for a moment, behind Zuko's back, Doctor Koh smiled with another face.


End file.
